Signs that You’re an Author (You Know You’re an Author When)

Signs that you're an author, you know you're an author if

Are you one of those crazy authors? These signs that you’re an author are a surefire way to find out. If even only ten of the following apply to you, then I’m sorry but you are part of the the weird author club. You might as well accept it and WRITE!

You know you’re an author when . . .

1. You grew up devouring books and reading is still way more fun than shopping or skiing or surfing or any of those other lame hobbies people have.

2. But reading isn’t quiet as enjoyable as it used to be because you find yourself critiquing any novel you read and figuring out how you would write it differently.

You know you're an author when

3. You correct people’s grammar. At its worst, you have an obsession with lay and lie. In fact, maybe you even have long, secret email conversations with other authors about grammar and word choice.

4. You look up words you don’t recognize and try to use them in conversations.

5. You can come up with 358 ways to say “laugh.”

You know you're an author when

6. One of the most notable signs that you’re an author is that you carry at least five pens with you just in case. You also believe that the one time you didn’t have a pen is the time you had the idea for that story that would have broken all previous sales records and made you a millionaire.

7. People hate watching movies with you because you always predict the ending. Or if you don’t like it, you make up a new one.

You know you're an author when

8. You write ideas on your phone, napkins, scraps of paper, receipts, your baby’s diaper—anything that comes to hand.

9. You sometimes zone out for long periods of time, even right in the middle of a conversation. (“Sorry, what were you saying?”)

You know you're an author when

10. You like being sick, so you can stay in bed and write.

11. Every time you meet someone new, you mentally describe them to yourself as if they were a character in your novel.

12. You make faces in a mirror to better describe your characters.

You know you're an author when

13. Your dreams could rival the most outlandish movie.

14. You hear voices. Yes, voices.  A lot of them.

15. You write about those voices. And sometimes you get them mixed up with real people you know.

You know you're an author when

16. You talk to those voices. (And too many times they REFUSE to do what you want them to.)

you know you're an author imaginary friends

17. You try new foods or activities you know you’ll hate just to be able to write about them.

18. You suspect Homeland Security might be monitoring your web searches.

Homeland security

19. You’ve had problems with your wrist or arms from too much typing.

20. You’re constantly writing stories in your head that are far more interesting than anything else going on around you.

You know you're an author when

21. The people in your head seem more real than your next-door neighbors.

22. You cry when one of your characters dies.

You know you're an author when

23. When something happens, bad or good, you think, “How can I use this in my next book?”

24. You miss (or nearly miss) your flight (or other important event) because you were writing a really awesome book idea.

25. You sometime stay up all night to finish writing a scene. (And you love doing it.)

You know you're an author when

If you are nodding or laughing out loud with understanding, then you are probably relating to most of these signs that you’re an author. Yep, you are as odd as the rest of us. Isn’t that GREAT! It’s SO NICE to be with people who understand.

And for the record, it really is okay to hear voices. It’s okay to make faces at yourself in the mirror. It’s okay to argue with your characters, even if they win. If anyone doesn’t understand, they aren’t authors (or readers either, probably), so don’t worry about it. Go ahead, be a weird author.

Do you have more signs that you’re an author?

Please post in the comments if you know You Know You’re An Author When signs that we can all relate to.

Teyla Rachel Branton

 

 

Copyright 2019 Teyla Rachel Branton
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3 Responses to “Signs that You’re an Author (You Know You’re an Author When)”

  1. September Amyx

    I was cackling like a witch over this list! ESPECIALLY the one about Homeland Security! And those voices! One more item I would add. You know you’re an author when you’ve kept all those ideas you’ve scribbled on napkins, paper bags, scraps of paper, receipts, paper doilies in a binder since you were a teenager (and you’re in your 60’s now). You’re SURE you’ll have enough time to write all those stories, eventually.

    Reply
  2. Kelly M Johnson

    I practically do everything on that that list but I don’t critique too much on how they use words.

    Reply

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